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NOTICE!!! Special 4-hour per day PROGRESSIVE Beginner Mini-Bootcamp held for FREE at every Salsa Mambo Festival in Palm Springs, California!!! Now's your chance to TOTALLY convince your family and friends to come to this event because Edie, The Salsa FREAK will PERSONALLY take care of them every step of the way. Four hours on Saturday, and Four Hours on Sunday... a FANTASTIC way to learn Salsa from the beginner basics! Spend quality time with your friends and family in the evenings while during the day, YOU take the classes YOU want, while they learn how to dance like YOU!!! Click Here for this Year's Full Details!!! ________________________________________________
Beginner's Corner... Click below for...
You may email your questions to me personally at wowedie@yahoo.com
"Shoot for the moon, and if you fall, you'll still be among the stars." Author Unknown
"Dear Edie, Dear Overwhelmed, Until I started to learn how to lead, I didn't appreciate this. I couldn't stand group classes. Why? Because unless the instructor specifically demonstrated a female flair movement, or fancy trick I had to do, I would always just end up following the guy the entire hour. After a while, following, following, following... well, I'd much rather spend my money in a club than at class anymore (yes, even Edie the FREAK could be a bitch sometimes...). Instructors must keep moving on to more interesting and complex instruction to keep the women coming to class. They must continuously make learning to dance interesting, fun, and challenging for everybody. If you feel that the instructor isn't spending enough time on a move, then ask a gal at the class to stay a few minutes afterward to practice a bit. Buy her dinner in trade for an hour of practice after class. This works 80% of the time. If you don't want to do that, then I suggest you take privates from the instructor. It is so hard to find someone just to practice with. That's why we've tried to provide a service here on Salsaweb to connect partners in your cities. Now that I'm learning the guy's "Leading" part, I really feel for the guy now, because I'm in the same dilemma! I started taking group classes. Wouldn't you figure, no girls wanted to dance with me (yes, I am a girl too!)! I was beginning to feel like "one of the guys... PISSED OFF that they all kept saying no! And for good reason! What girl would want to dance with another girl? I sucked so bad as a leader, even my OWN FRIENDS didn't want to dance with me anymore - not even to practice! What a DRAG!!!" So I asked the instructor if he / she wouldn't mind helping me a bit after each demonstration. I know I will eventually have to take privates, because finding someone to practice with is too difficult. I may even buy one of my girlfriends dinner.... The best thing for both you and I to do would be to just take privates for a while, and practice with whoever and whatever lets us... the dog, the pillow, the towel, a tie .. WHATEVER!!! "Dear Edie, I love salsa and I love dancing it. The only problem is that I can't do a lot of turns . I know how to dance it a little bit and I look all right but I want to get better . I always watch other people dancing and I want to learn more moves but I don't know how. I do all the same moves all the time. I have a partner that I kind of learned a lot with . We dance together all the time and we practice other moves that other people do. I would like to be a professional salsa dancer one day. That is my dream. I'm going to Puerto Rico for Christmas to see my family. My cousin is going to take me out . I'm going to try and see I can learn some new moves there. I would love for you to help me out and give me some more advice on how to learn to be a professional. I live [city] and they do not have that many clubs and a lot of salsa dancers out here." Dear Turnless, But, if you still want to learn more turns, and you’re not having much luck picking up new turns at clubs, nor finding good instructors, then I suggest you buy or rent some west coast swing and ballroom videos from a local ballroom studio. They are chalk full of fancy turns and tricks. You can taylor them to suit your Salsa street dancing style. There have also been many times when my partners and I have just simply "made up" turns while joking around on the dance floor. Having a blast with friends, and uninhibited playing around on the dance floor sparks TONS of creativity. You’d be surprised what you come up with if you and your partner just let your minds go wild… "Dear Edie, Dear Scared to learn...not a quick learner,
"Dear Edie, My goal is to become an excellent follower and get through a song without causing a major stop and restart. I'd like to be able to follow well enough to dance an entire song through smoothly and joyfully. How important is it for the female to know all the routines/moves a male could lead you into in order to accomplish my goal. Or is it just knowing many but always be able to let go and "be lead?" At this point, I think my weakest skill is understanding what the male wants in terms of turns and arm movements. For instance, sometimes the man will lift my arm in what seems to me to be a request to turn left or right, whatever, but really its meant to place my arm, or hand, around his neck. I hesitate to blame the male dancers, but sometimes I think this may be where a little firmness helps, or at least be quicker about where the lifted arm/hand is going. I'm planning on taking several privates lessons with a male instructor just to work on this aspect. Would that be a reasonable expectation?" Dear Dancing in My Sleep, You don’t need to worry about memorizing moves. The guy’s job is to lead you through everything. As a woman, all you need to do (in the beginning) is just keep the rhythm and the basic. With practice, and going out often enough, being a good follower will eventually become second nature. I always tell people "I’m a professional follower". The most important thing you should expect from your first couple privates is developing a solid basic step and right and left turn. Keep in mind that the dance is simply a walk - no bouncing, or hops on one foot or the other. It’s a simple "walk, walk, walk….. walk, walk, walk". 1,2,3…. 5.6.7…. or, if you were dancing on "2", it would be 2,3,4, …. 6,7,8. Don’t bob up and down or swing your arms around. Don’t leave your arms hanging down straight at your side. Just walk to the rhythm, and keep your arms bent in front of you in a jogger’s position. Don’t make this dance any more difficult than it already is. In fact, the less you try, the better you look. Relax, have fun, feel the rhythm enter your body, and enjoy it. Warning. Because you are taking lessons from a male instructor, do not, I repeat, DO NOT expect every guy out there to be as good as your instructor. Do not expect your instructor to dance with you at clubs either. Do not get spoiled by your instructor and develop an "attitude" of only dancing with the best dancers. Do not openly compare your instructor(s) with other instructors at a club. Do not just stick with one instructor. Take privates from many different instructors, both male and female. Lastly, dance with EVERYONE - not just "the best" dancers. This is the only way you’ll learn to develop your style, and still have a blast, even if none of the great Salseros show up one evening. Good luck to you. LEARNING SALSA FROM THE BEGINNING: A MALE PERSPECTIVE Let me preface what I’m writing here by saying that I am not the greatest salsa dancer in the world, and never will be (even among the greatest of dancers that’s a disputed title I suppose). No, I’m part of the large crowd of folks who’ve fallen in love with salsa music and all that it serves to the human spirit. The following discussion assumes that you are a member of this lively group as well. My first experience with Salsa dancing was strictly as a spectator only. I was completely taken in by the music and dance; it left a lasting impression to be sure. Judging by the number of men taking classes ( in the last three group classes I’ve taken, the men outnumbered the women 2 to 1) it’s impacted your life as well. I did grab a friend of mine to teach me the basic step; that was all she knew actually. But it was enough. So I decided, like many of the you fellows, to test the waters with a group class - what an ego deflator! Many of the women in the class looked and felt like they had been dancing this for years, and some even seemed annoyed by my lack of skill in leading them. Even worse, I was flanked by guys who looked like they already knew what they were doing. It’s easy to get excited about a new interest, but the reality of learning the new skills can be hard to swallow. Realizing it takes more than one lesson to be a good Salsero, I had a decision to make. Do I really want to invest the time, and ego bruising, to learn this well? All right, it took 2 seconds for me to answer that question, but the thought of quitting did streak across my mind. This is the pivotal moment for a novice in any field. The ones that forge ahead get results, the others get discouraged and fall away. Don’t be part of the second group! Private lessons proved to be crucial in breaking through the first confidence barrier. I strongly recommend at least two or three privates in the beginning if you want to accelerate your learning. I ended up taking a dozen or so of these before visiting a group lesson again. Big difference. You’ll definitely be more relaxed and focused coming back from private instruction from a good teacher. New steps come to you faster, you retain more, and you start to develop a feel for how to move a women around your frame. I still have a long way to go, I’m a perfectionist by nature, but taking enough classes provides a clear path for your future progress. PROGRESSING FROM THE BEGINNING As in anything, there are Great Salsa dancers and there are Good salsa dancers. Great dancers can command the floor anywhere, and few reach this level. However, even good dancers can be impressive to the casual spectator; this is a fact that should make the beginning practitioner of salsa very happy. Why, you ask? Because I believe that becoming a good dancer, salsa included, is a VERY realistic goal for 98% of the general population. It means that with good teaching, some mental focus, and practice, one can attain a level of dancing that’s fun to participate in and fun to those watching. Its the effort of moving from, let’s face it, a poor partner dancer to a good one that sidelines most who quit. As I’ve stated in my salsa story, a confident and strong lead becomes a must for the man. A good male lead can often improve the appearance of an average female; the reverse is less common however. I’ve heard several good teachers say that this puts the male dancer several months behind the female at the very beginning (I’m assuming a man who has had no prior partner training at all, salsa or otherwise). This is unsettling for the beginner who goes to his first group lesson and finds the women kicking his tail around the floor with the intermediate movements! Just a friendly warning. That’s the bad news. Now for some good news. It usually takes just a few lessons, private preferred, before a man gains enough experience to attain a beginning feel for leading a partner. At this point you are way ahead of the man who never partner dances, and never takes a chance to try. A few weeks of practicing and you could probably lead a female dancer quite well. Nothing impressive just yet, but enough to really start to enjoy the salsa sounds . A worthwhile beginning goal I believe. Which leads us into the next topic. GOALS What do you expect from your dance experience? How good a dancer do you want to be? Are there dancers that inspire you ( if so, talk to them. If they’re friendly, they might give you some valuable advice and instruction)? How much time are you willing to invest to make your dancing better? Someone once told me there are two types of dancers: those that dance for how it makes them feel, and those who dance because they like to perform around others. The first type likes to dance for what it brings to themselves and their partner, while the second type is just as concerned with how others view their dancing. Of course, in the real world no one is solely one type or the other. But even still, be true to your own personality. If you want glitz and flash, then find instructors who add this to what they teach. If you’re more conservative( is there such as thing as a conservative salsa dancer?), find an instructor that better suites this perspective in their teaching style. The goal here is to build a realistic mental image of what you want to become with your dancing. Finally, determine what amount of time you can and will invest to learn salsa. Forget people who brag that they are naturals. ALL GOOD DANCERS PRACTICE. They practice with their partners, with other partners, by themselves, and at different clubs and venues. This is exactly what makes them so good. So taking the time to practice is a must if you are going to improve. How much time you spend depends on how quickly you want to learn. Some dancers spend several hours practicing for every hour of instruction they receive. At this rate, it won’t take but a few months before you’re in an intermediate group class leading the women quite nicely. I wouldn’t take less than one group lesson per week for the first two months to attain this, and at least two or three privates to tighten things up. If you can’t manage this kind of time investment, do what you can, but set the time goal nonetheless. THE PARTNER Find a regular one! That’s the best advice I can give. It’s unsettling at times to come back from a lesson, excited about the dancing you’ve done, and find yourself practicing with coat racks and upright lamp fixtures. You need a female to make the mistakes along with you, challenge your lead, tell you when you’re applying to much pressure, compliment you when your "doing it right", and learn along side you. If she can accompany you to the lessons, even better. Else, at least find the time to practice with her. The partner doesn’t have to be a significant other. Although girlfriends and wives are natural choices, some of us single unattached fellows have to consider other options. Sisters are good choices if you have one, as long as you don’t become abusive with each another. Family can be that way. Else, there are always female friends; if you’re shy about this, get over it! You’re going to have to ask women at the clubs to dance, so you might as well start with the women you do know. If all else fails, well, you always have those women you meet at lesson time. Ask them if they’d like to practice before or after the lesson for a few minutes. It’s actually easier than at a club because they’re obviously there to learn just like you. CONFIDENCE A brief word on confidence. Your confidence grows with your experience and skill. The first time I visited the Mayan you couldn’t get me to ask a woman to dance; I was not comfortable with my ability to dance Salsa well. So I had to wait for the high energy, top 40 "intermission". After I had the opportunity to practice and dance with enough partners, the apprehension goes away. There’s a saying in the military- you don’t rise to the occasion, you always default to the level of your training. In other words, you’re only as good as the practice you bring to the dance floor already. So, once again, practice what you’ve learned. Sorry to beat a dead horse. FINAL NOTE Let’s face it guys, women don’t take the time to dress to impress and go to clubs just to be lead by novices. I know this isn’t always fair to the men, considering the time it takes to develop leading skills, but that’s the breaks. It isn’t easy on the women either to sit around waiting for confident male dancers to ask them to dance either. This isn’t anything new to dancing. The male Tango dancers of the early twentieth century would dance for hours upon hours with each other before attending the clubs to dance with the women. I’ve been to events with other ballroom style dancing and observed the same phenomenon. Why should Salsa dancing be any different? I’m know I’m in way near where I’d like to be, but learning and growing is part of the fun. So don’t get discouraged, put the time in, and reap the benefits! "Dear Edie, So, question is, can you recommend private instructors in (city) area? Also about how much do these classes run? I figure after taking half-dozen more private classes, I'll try going to some of the clubs. Any clubs you care to recommend up here in (city) would also be appreciated. My goal is to learn enough to participate confindently in the club scene and when I take occassional trips to Latin America; but not really interested in competition or being a "bad ass" dancer. Thanks much, and I really feel like my eyes have been opened to something new and fun. Dear World Traveler, Because I don't know your city, you'll need to check out my page on How to Find Clubs Out of Town first, then ask at the clubs you go to, who is the best "street dancer" in the city. Go up to him and ask him for a private or two. That's what I did. Forget about the classes if you want to get good FAST. Private instructors will charge anywhere from $25 per hour to $80 per hour. Averaging about $40 and $50 per hour. Trust me, when you've found the right instructor, it's worth every dime. Very worth it. "Dear Edie, I have come to the point where I feel I need to start taking some private lessons, and want your advice on how to proceed. I have thought about my goals, and at this point, I want to: (1) clean up my basics; (2) learn all the "moves" that are thrown at me on the dance floor; (3) learn styling techniques; (4) expand my repertoire of potential partners. I don't think that I will ever be dance competition material, so learning ballroom technique is not a high priority to me. There are two issues that I was hoping you could advise me on. First, I am considering whether I should take from a male instructor or a woman. My first inclination is to take from a woman. I believe [she] will help me with the basics and styling. [female Instructor #1 and #2] are articulate and good, but seem to have different styles. [Female Instructor #1's] lessons are kind of expensive, but going all the way down to [female Instructor #2's] studio is a drawback as well. Two of my friends have suggested that I take from a [male Instructor] who knows the moves, will teach me moves he teaches his male students, and also provide an instant entry into the upper echelons of the Salsa scene. I don't know if I am ready for this however- I am a bit intimidated, and also, in the group classes I have taken with this man, I don't get the sense that he is as articulate as the women I mentioned. It would be helpful to know your opinion on the male vs. female instructor issue. Second, I was wondering if there is some kind of unwritten rule about changing instructors once you start privates with one. I had thought about taking a couple lessons from several different people in order to decide whose style works best for me. But I know that sometimes hard feelings can develop if you try to change instructors, and I don't want to create friction with anyone. What do you think? Dear Almost There, As a female, if you have not taken any privates yet, try both sexes. Take your first private from a man, to get the feeling of a good lead. You may have NEVER experienced a phenomenal lead, but oh, when you do, it's like you've just had incredible sex. Your second and third privates should be with a woman. As a woman, taking a private from a woman enables you to see and feel what it's like to actually be sexy. Believe it or not, for some of us, this is a very difficult, life-changing, brand new, experience. Taking a lesson from a woman who is sexy, and knows how to show it dancing is truly eye-opening. You'll learn a great deal about yourself - your inhibitions, your fears... you realize there is so much more about you, within you, that has been deeply clammed up inside and is yearning to GET OUT!. When I started my privates with females, posing, sticking my butt out, placing my hand gently on my hip "just so", touching parts of my body... at first, I just shook my head, and could not believe I was actually doing this to myself. But an amazing thing happened when I did. I ACTUALLY looked SEXY! I couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, "What a CONCEPT!" I would never, in a million years, have even THOUGHT about doing this alone in the bathroom! The thought would have never even crossed my mind if my instructor would not have shown me how! What man could possibly teach women how to be sexy? The only type of man who would be able to demonstrate this sex appeal is a female impersonator or cross-dresser. They know every trick in the book. Here is an article on how to walk gracefully from a female impersonator's site. Amazingly enough, these men actually STUDY the Marilyn Monroe's of year's past. They work on moving, walking, sitting, and dressing like the female movie stars of the 40's and 50's. They work on presentation, grace, style, and beauty. They study fabrics, shoes, underwear, hair, nails, hip movement... every last detail. They go above and beyond. They are experts at female sex appeal. In fact, if you see a woman walk in the room, and then see a female impersonator walk in behind her, the female impersonator will actually look and walk sexier than the real woman. As women in this day and age, we can learn a great deal from them. In my own opinion, the majority of women today have forgotten how to be sexy like that. We've lost it. With the advent of "women's rights" and the feminist movement, we've basically stuck our sex appeal in the closet. Female Salsa instructors will bring this out for you. As a woman, you're going to feel real stupid and awkward at first, trying to move your hips and throw your head back, and doing the hand flares... all that. You'll even be surprised at how much you actually touch your body during the whole scene! It can be quite amusing between the two of you! You'll laugh, and basically feel and look like an idiot the first couple of times, but this is where you'll have to swallow your pride and just DO IT. When you take a lesson with a man, he will show you what he likes as far as how to "follow" his lead, and maybe a little footwork. However, be aware that you will inadvertently get "used" to him and his style and end up being disappointed with virtually every other man you dance with. Nobody will be able to compare to him in your eyes. You will feel let down and upset if he doesn't dance at least one song with you when you see him at a nightclub. But the truth is, that he has many, many female students, and does not necessarily want to dance with them when he's out clubbing. He needs to "show off" with his partner or whomever is "good" so he can continue to get more business. As a woman, it takes a female mentor, more importantly, a female dancer/performer to show us what pleases the audience - whether "the audience" is a large group of spectators, or a single man. The opposite holds true for a man needing instruction. We want to look sexy and appealing on the dance floor, but some of us just don't know how, and when we try, we basically look like idiots without the proper training and timing. I'm more guilty of this than anyone. When I first started my privates with females, I was so excited about all these fancy new "things", that I wanted to do all of them AT ONCE!! So I tried them on the dance floor at a nightclub. Within five seconds, I had done 10 sexy things to my body. I would shimmy here, jiggle there, touch this, touch that... , I realized I was in OVERDRIVE when the guy I was dancing with stopped in mid motion, stared at me in complete amazement, looked at me like I was some sort of alien, wondering just what the hell I was doing to myself..."Loca" he must have thought... I realized I looked SO STUPID! I mean, talk about OVERKILL. He refused to dance with me anymore. So when you start learning all this stuff, STAY CALM!!! I know it's a thrill, but RELAX!!! CHILL!!! About "providing an instant entry into the upper echelons of the Salsa scene". Girlfriend, this is an "earned" thing. It just "happens", and it only happens to the best. Usually this happens to professional dancers who have had years and years of ballet, jazz, and ballroom training, or naturals - born dancers like the famous Vazquez brothers. You have GOT to be good. Regarding your question about the "unwritten rule about changing instructors once you start privates with one". If you want to get good, take privates from EVERYONE you can afford. The best instructors encourage this. They don't mind. However, in the class, never, never, NEVER, say, "Well so and so taught me this..", or "so and so taught me that..." bla, bla, bla. There is nothing that pisses off an instructor more. If you continue to talk about "so and so" the whole time, they will stop the lesson, and ask if you want to go back to "so and so", in a "don't let the door hit you in the ass" fashion. Just shut up, listen, and show respect to your instructor. Nobody needs to know anything about anyone else. (this, by the way, is THE #1 unwritten Latino rule about EVERYTHING IN LIFE... Beginner Class Attitude and Ettiquite... "Dear Edie, Let me preface by saying that I am a beginner female with some previous dance experience. I have been taking beginning classes for several months, and plan to take them for several more. After several weeks of class, I was bitten by the "salsa bug" and now in addition to classes 2-3 times a week, I go to clubs several nights a week, and take the (intermediate) classes beforehand. Most importantly, I am very fortunate to have a more advanced female friend who has been my "introduction" to the salsa scene, and have been able to dance regularly with men who are much better than I am. Overall, I think that my experience is fairly typical of that of the "beginning female." I strongly believe it is of paramount importance that both men and women take beginning classes (often longer than they think they need to) in order to learn and develop good basics. However, I have encountered some problems in class with "beginners with attitude" that make the experience and the learning process much less enjoyable. I understand that at the beginning, learning salsa is equivalent to "ego castration" of the male. Leading and following are different skills and therefore the learning process is different as well. In general, men are very much on their own developing their lead, and the biggest obstacles on the learning curve are at the beginning. In contrast, women learn a lot at the beginning from dancing with more advanced men (assuming the woman has the basics down), and can generally get up to a moderately high level faster then the men can. Once a woman has reached that level, her hard work on being a good follower begins. Dance class should provide a comfortable setting in which both men and women can hone their basics regardless of their skill level. Most of the people in class are nice and fun, and I've made some good friends, however there is a small percentage of men out there who can benefit from a few tips. The following is a list of five things that I believe will make classes more valuable and enjoyable for us all: (1) Please do not try practicing the step while the instructor is talking or demonstrating the step. There is a lot to be gained from watching and listening rather than immediately trying the step, and if you are lucky enough to get through the beginning easy part, you WILL mess up on the hard part if you don't watch and listen. Also, a good instructor will walk you through it and give you plenty of time to practice- watching the demonstration one more time will not kill you. (2) Please do not try to "correct" my dancing while the instructor is talking or demonstrating the step. This is related to the previous tip. If you are talking to me, I cannot hear and watch the instructor. Believe it or not, I can follow (3) If I am doing something wrong, please correct me diplomatically. It kills me when I rotate to a new partner, and after taking two steps he stops me and says "you need to do X" or "you're doing it wrong" and gives me THAT LOOK like I am stupid and terrible and he can't finish the step unless I have 100 more classes. Remember that you have zero credibility if my previous 2-3 partners in the rotation have been dancing up a storm with me and said I've got it down. Rather then immediately assuming it is my fault, take a moment to consider if there may be a problem with your lead before shooting off at the mouth. If the woman is making a mistake, remember that there is a way to tell someone that they are doing something wrong. In general, I prefer a man to say "I think maybe we should try it X way" or "can I suggest in general that maybe you try Y." Also, always give constructive criticism with a smile. Incidentally, I try to avoid giving criticism to partners in class (although sometimes I nearly have to bite my tongue to avoid it) unless we break the step down together or it's someone I know. If it's absolutely necessary, I try to temper it with a compliment about something else the person does well. (4) Don't act condescendingly nice when I do get something right. This is more of an intermediate class beef. Maybe it is shocking to my partners when I get something right, but not to me. I hate it when I get that surprised look, especially from the intermediates who knew me when I didn't know the basic step or other beginners who assume that just because they take class once a week, everyone does. I recommend smiling nonchalantly and at the end of the rotation say, "that's good, you've got it." (5) Just act normal and polite. Salsa is a social dance, and I like dancing with men who act like they are having a good time dancing with me. Make eye contact with me (especially since right now I am practicing spotting turns), smile, and act polite. In class I am willing to try new steps or just dance if:
I'm sure there are plenty of men who upon reading this would have criticism about beginning women with attitude, beginning women who try to lead, etc. I know that we are all learning out there, and we are bound to make mistakes on attitudes and etiquette. My observations about the men of salsa have lead me to seriously examine my own behavior and performance. I know for me, in future classes I am hoping to work harder to develop that all-important feeling of partnership which is at the heart of salsa. Dear Not There Yet But Learning,
"Dear Edie I am practicing every day, but I have no partner, so leading is my weak point. I think I am too afraid of throwing the girl around, so I am not strong enough. But I can't know without trying. I am doing great at the group lessons. I have the rhythm. I love the music. I love the dance. No one will give me a shot at the real-clubs. :( (as opposed to the 'beginner's night' group lesson I mentioned) Is it because I am not Latin, that they assume I must suck and so say no? Is there some sort of clique? I don't smoke/drink so it can't be my breath. I am a good looking guy, in my opinion. I dress well, again in my opinion. What am I doing wrong? For all they know about me, I could be the best dancer in the world! Is it because I am showing up alone? Do they assume I am some sort of loser? Please help! I am addicted but can't get my fix! Dear Frustrated, Try it. Don't worry. Every guy goes through this. Just play the numbers game. Keep asking. When the women see that you're dancing is getting better and better, they will say "no" less and less. I used to get rejected CONSTANTLY. Remember my story? I just kept taking privates and kept taking privates, and danced with my instructor, until I KNEW I could do it, and ask with confidence. That may be another personality problem you have. Are you asking with confidence? When you approach a woman, do you ask her politely to dance, or do you just look into her eyes, smile, and extend your hand, KNOWING she'll want to dance with you? (the latter is sexier and works 90% of the time - especially when you play the male domineering type - women LOVE that!) EXPECT that she'll say yes. Speak it into existence. Make it happen, and it will work. Expect it. Never 2nd guess yourself. Convince yourself in your mind that you are the greatest, the "baddest" dancer of all time, and believe it or not, your energy will exude throughout the room. Funny how it works that way. Never, never, never feel you're not "good enough". Others can feel what you feel, so NEVER feel it. You're the best, and that's it. Period. Go in with that attitude this weekend. Then tell me how it went. "Dear Edie, How do women who are really good respond to dancing with someone who isn't? First impressions really count, and I don't want the good dancers thinking I suck because then they won't dance with me in the future, when I will be (hopefully) good. I realize that everyone responds differently, and that some will be helpful and some will be rude, but in general what do you see happening to new males in the clubs who try to dance with the very skilled women? Dear Practice Level Beginner, As far as answering your question about "new males in the clubs who try to dance with the very skilled women", I don't see it very often... but when I do, it's sometimes sad, because the woman is being such a snob and has a long face during the whole song. I hate seeing that. Not every woman is that way however. Some women try to help the beginner during the dance. I'll even see some women stop and pull the guy to the edge of the floor or back of the room, and start practicing basics with them. This is rare, but it does happen. What you need to do is find at least two to three beginners as well, and practice all night with them. Then, every 5th song, dance with a real good dancer. Tell her up front you're just learning, and you need to feel what it's like to dance with an excellent dancer such as herself. You will not only flatter her, but you will also get to feel what it's like to lead like a pro. These women turn like butter, and spin like a top.... You barely even need to touch them - or lift your arm for a turn, and they instinctively know where you want them. These gals are good...set your goal my friend... Just keep going out, as often as you can 4,5,6 days a week, and within a month or so, you will become one of the best dancers in the city. I've seen men skyrocket once they're addicted. In fact, I purposely go out of my way to encourage a beginner to take more lessons or a private with the instructor. I will help him with his turns, or whatever he needs help with, because frankly I get sick and tired of always dancing with the same guys every week! We need some new Salsero blood on that floor! New generations of men! HOW WONDERFUL! I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it! Whew! Gotta go take a cold shower.....! You can reaad about how I started in my story here on SalsaWeb... It talks about how I started...stumbling, falling, my embarrassments... everything! It's kind of like you're at, right now. Answer from a female salsera - with a different perspective... I just read the new letter at your Beginner's Corner from the guy who's a beginner and wants to dance with women above his skill level. Let me add a different perspective into the mix: I agree that the more advanced dancers have a "duty" of sorts to spend a portion of the evening dancing with beginners. People did that for me, especially Errol, and for that I am truly grateful. So now I do the same. BUT, there's an issue involved here that you left out of your response to the letter: Some beginner guys don't know their limits. They see the advanced people doing all kinds of cool moves and they think, "how hard can it Please don't go dipping women when you haven't been trained to do it right. And please don't try to send me into a series of continuous turns without looking around to see where there's an obstruction-free path. And don't forcefully throw me out into another couple and then I don't mean to mischaracterize genuine enthusiasm for dance- I really think that some of these guys just don't give a shit b/c they're so egotistically intent on showing off skills that they don't yet have. As a side note, I think it's interesting that some beginner guys complain that the more advanced ladies snub them be declining invitations to dance. Well, I've seen these same guys turn around and snub a beginner lady. Further, I personally will dance with just about anyone once, especially at the beginning of the evening. But often you give a guy an inch and he tries to take a mile. A guy asks me to dance- he's a beginner- and I work hard to make it all look good. So he, thinking he's suddenly become some kind of dancing stud, now wants to dance every song with ME for the rest of the night. To insure this, he stakes out a spot at my table, uninvited, and harrasses a few more dances out of me until I finally signal to one of my male friends to make this guy bug off. I don't want to have to do that. It makes me feel bad. I apologize for the seemingly harsh tone of this letter, but having been embarrassed, harassed, almost seriously injured by beginner guys, I feel these issues need to be mentioned. It'll make the world a better place. And I'll be much more likely to dance with a beginner guy in the future, having now aired these issues. "Dear Edie, Dear Scared Spitless, These gals will not mind. Everybody screws up on occasion. Just don't make it a habit... "Dear Edie, Dear Mr. Rhythm
I'll be discussing the fine points to dancing Salsa when you send me your story on it! Will you write a paragraph or two on it? I'll use it as a Top Story or Tip of the week, or just part of a "hints" column - depending on how it turns out. Let me know! "Dear Edie, Dear Concerned Observer, I'm glad you recognized this in the instructor, and lack of soul in the student. We need to somehow let people know that Salsa is not about just doing the moves, but about feeling the rhythm, and listening to the pulse of the music. It's not easy for some people. Some people never get it. Just you worry about you, and when you become awesome, they'll still be right where they're at, and people will see right through them, just like you did. "Dear Edie, Dear Bud, Another word of advice: While you're at the clubs, don't ask a girl "Will you teach me?". Just ask if she wouldn't mind showing you a couple turns that you saw her do. But DON'T say, "Will you teach me?" at the club. Most women are there to dance, and have a good time. Not teach male beginners. Number one, 90% of them don't know how to lead, and secondly, they haven't a clue as to what the guy is supposed to do. Three exceptions to this rule are:
But don't say "Will you teach me?" at the club!!!! This drives women crazy!!! I have men ask me that all the time and I don't know why, but I just can't stand that phrase!!! This turns many good female dancers off. A lot of women will be rude and answer "Try taking a lesson". Try as often as you can to dance with the best women dancers. They are easier to control, and follow much better than a beginning female - of which you may get frustrated. Besides, good female dancers ALWAYS make the man look good. Try not to find a single partner yet. Get good first, by becoming a smooth, subtle, yet solid leader. Dance with as many women as you can fit into one evening. This will make you a great dancer. Reason? You and your partner will get "locked in" to what each other is doing, get used to each other, then when you want to dance with someone else, they will not be as "easy" to maneuver, they'll feel like they can't dance that well, and you won't lead them correctly. Watch good male dancers. They don't turn the women all the time. They don't do a whole lot of fancy stuff either. They just lead well, and most importantly, they have fun! This reminds me of a story that I want to share with you. I was at a club when I was just learning. I danced with many men that night, and remembered in particular dancing with a guy that I thought was terrible and could not lead. It showed in my face that he was bad, and I swore I wouldn't want to dance with him again. A couple of hours later, I saw my friend Janette (a professional jazz/Salsa dancer) dancing to a song with a guy that was absolutely incredible. He showed her off, turned her beautifully, dipped her, spun her, styled with her......all that. I thought to myself, "Holy Smokes! That guy is awesome! I'd like to ask him to dance." When I got closer to them after the song, I REALIZED IT WAS THE SAME GUY I THOUGHT SUCKED EARLIER. That was a big lesson for me. Just because a woman has a hard time with a man, doesn't mean you should have a terrible time dancing that song. Do the best with what you have. Make her look good. Make him look good. You've got to bloom where you're planted!! "Dear Edie, Anyhow, he says let's dance so I go with him onto the dance floor. He bursts into this Saturday Night Fever routine, completely oblivious to the fact that the music has a beat and one ought to be on it. Then he proceeds to grab me real hard and fling me around like a ragdoll. For example, to have me do a right turn, rather than simply raising his arm and me turning under it on my own accord, he would raise his arm and with his other hand he would grab me and shove me under his arm. He was pushing and shoving and pulling me- I couldn't keep my balance and I had no control over my body. It was horrible. So as soon as his death grip released from my arm so he could do a set of (ridiculous) solo turns, I bolted. Normally I wouldn't do that to a guy- leave him stranded just because I don't like dancing with him, but this was an extreme circumstance. So this guy follows me through the crowd and demands, "What's the matter!" I told him in a fairly mellow way, all things considered, "Look, you can't throw me around the floor like a ragdoll. I don't want to have bruises from dancing with you." Then he says to me: "You need to learn to pick up the pace. You need to learn to dance." And with a facetious flourishing bow he says, "Lo siento mucho, lo siento mucho" I assume he assumed I didn't speak spanish. Can you believe that? Is this normal? I mean, this guy is a beginner Salsa student and he has the most conceit imaginable. What really bites is that he's in my class, and I don't want to have to dance with him again-ever. Your thoughts? Dear Ragdoll, 1. If you see him at a club, and I am there too: 2. If you see him in a club, and I'm not around. 3. If you see him at class. The most important thing is that this guy you're talking about gets better, and even possibly through you (now don't fall off your chair...). All guys in the beginning have trouble (girls too!). Can you imagine their responsibilities? They have to lead correctly, play traffic cop, follow the beat, and try to keep you interested with new and different moves! I've been told from men, that there is nothing more wonderful than a woman helping a beginner out with patience, kindness, and sincerity. That's why, when I help an instructor teach a class, I pay special attention to the guys like you mentioned above. I break down every step, every hand movement, every beat. I'll even do it in a nightclub. However, I WILL NOT do it on the dance floor. I'll pull them to the side, or a dark corner or downstairs, and help them out in private - NOT IN FRONT OF ANYONE. This will KILL a guy's ego like you would not believe. Be quiet, calm, and very, very, patient. It will DEFINITELY pay off in the end. Who knows? If you're patient enough, and he's got the Salsa fever badly enough, he may eventually become one of the greatest dancers at the Mayan - you never, never know. (a VERY similar thing happened with Luis Vazquez when he was just learning...Now look at him. Now, no one can TOUCH his style, rythm, and power on the dance floor) Wouldn't it be terrible if this guy became a phenominal dancer like Luis, then refused to ever dance with certain women because of the way he was treated by them in the beginning? I know it may be hard, but it's just a decision away for both him, and you... "Dear Edie, Dear "Wanna know it all" Who Leads? "Dear Edie, She recently moved here from [another country]. I think she is the most talented Latin dancer in the whole [city]. She's a real natural. I have a zillion moves that we practice and use together. She also teaches me some really good moves. She keeps insisting that with really good dancers both the Man and the Woman lead - at the same time! Now this is news to me. My understanding is that there is a leader and a follower, and a good leader will tune into the energy of the follower, and adjust his dance according to the mood of the follower. But she keeps trying to tell me that the women can in effect back-lead moves, that is initiate a turn. We are even suppose to be able to both lead at the same time! So far, all that's happened is that I'm about to start to turn her in one direction, and at the same time she decides to start herself turning in a different way. So there is a near collision, we get thrown way off, and then I start asking myself why am I dancing with her? Now I'm trying to be understanding and open minded. If I were the woman, I would not want to always be lead around the dance floor, NEVER being able to decide for myself when and how to turn (this is part of why I like Salsa dancing so much, I get to coordinate/execute all these moves). Also, I am not from Costa Rica like she is, and for all I know maybe some people in Costa Rica really can do this! But I think she just frustrated with some other things and this is how she's taking it out on me. I tell her I want to tune into her mood/expresion more and respond to her. I'll even let her lead me (yes, I'll even dance the woman's part), so long as it's clear we have switched roles. But I want to draw the line when she wants to have two leaders at the same time! To me that's just out of control. Am I right? Have you ever heard of man and woman leading each other at the same time? In all my time dancing I have never had this issue with anyone else. On the other hand, I've never had such a good partner. What do you think? Any advice would be appreciated." From Professional Salsa Dancer, Joby Vazquez, she should follow, that's the bottom line. Now for comprimise. Maybe there's moves that she likes to do that he does not do as often as she'd like. If your partners you need to get together and decide for both of you what turns or moves you like best when dancing. I can say that there are moves that I don't like doing and some that I do. So I tell a Luis. He then won't do the ones I don't like and does ones that I do. I understand that it may not be fair that the man has most of the control of the movement but when your partners it makes it extra special because you can compromise to do what suits you both the best. Also, here in L.A. we have SIR HARRY, I believe the one and only dancer that let's the women do alot of leading. Where in fact he takes you crossbody lead and stands there while he lets you do whatever footwork, body movement, hand movement you want and then when he senses that you ready to go back on the 1 ( or 2), he leads you into whatever he wants. It's really a wonderful concept. And SIR HARRY is known for that, and I notice alot of guys are beginning to pick that concept up. From Professional Salsa Dancer, Josie Neglia , However, there is something that I call "playing" that is usually with only the advanced dancers. This is where the man, at times, waits for the lady if she wants to stay and roll & circle her hips slowly a little longer before the man pulls her into the next move (but then it is still up to the man to let this happen) and it is usually because both partners are so into the MUSIC and the music is calling for that extra slowing down or hold (like in a slow sexy introduction or a long highlight). This does not mean however that the lady forces any moves that the man was not intending or initiates any of her own turns while the man is holding her. The follower on the most part, dances the MOMENT as musical as she can be with extra head, arm or footwork within the steps the man is leading. This may sound a little 'behind the times' that woman are always following but in actual fact, the role of following and being a great dancer are very difficult skills to master and the same is true for leading. One is not easier than the other nor considered more important. They are just different and when a great leader and incredible follower get together-- MAGIC HAPPENS!! As a professional dancer in many styles of Ballroom and Latin dances, I have been a follower for many years with some incredible leaders, I enjoy the sensational freedom of dancing in the moment, to the music, while my partner is controlling the choreography and my body. I also teach and have lead many ladies, but it is a completely different frame of mind and each roles requires full attention to that role- the follower cannot be a leader at any point- she should master the role of being a great follower and dancer of the music. I hope this answers your question. From Demetris, a phenominal Male Dancer in England, I think that the answer to this question depends on the context in which you are dancing. If you are dancing in shows, competitions, etc. you cannot afford to have the uncertainty of not knowing who is going to lead the next move. You can either have a set routine or one person (normally the man) can lead. Alternatively, provided it is agreed beforehand, the man and woman can lead different aspects of the dance. For example, the man could initiate a repeating pattern and the woman could give a signal to end the pattern. The most important thing is to avoid the possibility of any misunderstandings. When you are dancing socially (ie. for pleasure) it is normal for the man to lead and it is normally considered wrong for the woman to initiate moves. This is necessary for practical reasons. Following this convention allows people to dance with partners they have not met before. It also allows the man to control the amount space used on a crowded dance-floor. It has the additional benefit of reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings which could lead to accidents. I personally believe, however, that provided she doesn't everdo it, there is sometimes scope for the lady to initiate moves. She may have an idea which she can not communicate verbally in a noisy club or she may want to express herself in a way which is only possible if she takes control of the dance for some period of time. This may not always work out, but in this context (ie. social dancing) it doesn't matter if there are occasional misunderstandings. I have found that if a lady dances alot with a particular partner she will eventually get to know when it is appropriate to initiate something. I think that ladies should bear the following in mind when initiating moves: - If she overdoes it, she might negate what the man is trying to achieve. For example, if the man decides to go into a partner hold for a quiet section of a particular song, he probably won't be too impressed if the lady releases herself and starts break dancing. - Some men do not like it when women do anything other than follow their leads and may not want do dance with women who interfere with what they consider to be the natural order! In the specific case of the guy who mailed you, he doesn't say under what circumstances the woman wishes to lead. For shows and competitions I think that they must agree beforehand who is leading. For convenience, I would suggest that the man should lead. Doing it the other way would cause confusion when dancing with other partners. For social dancing I think that the lady should learn to control herself. If the man feels that the dance is out of control then she is definitely going too far. I think that the man agreeing to sometimes dance the lady's part is an excellent compromise which may help keep her happy until they develop an understanding which allows her to take a more active part in initiating moves. From Professional Salsa Dancer, Janette Valenzuela, A dance partnership is a union. The distinction for Salsa partners is very simple: Man- leader Woman - follower Unfortunately, we live in a very macho culture. But that is the truth and that is why I want out! I hope this helps, You can ask me ANYTHING YOU WANT. I can be reached at salsafreakworldtour@hotmail.com . Keep dancing! A great site for ballroom Beginning tips! http://epb1.lbl.gov/homepages/Ronnen_Levinson/Ballroom.html Dear Edie, Most of my beginner class (men) have left for that reason, and the attitude of some of the women. Please reinforce to female readers the difficulties of not only learning the beat, our steps, the turns, etc... but also having to think several steps ahead of them as well for a good lead. To a beginning male out of his element, all this at once can be intimidating. (Living in [city] with a large Cuban and PR community, and I being the ONLY anglo (Irish) at the Latin clubs here, it was even more intimidating at first. Unlike NY or LA, where I used to live, it is not quite as open a club scene down here so this gringo has to work extra hard to be accepted. Practicing partners for me, except at the schools, are apparently non-existent. I find that even the good couples here tend to dance with each other most of the night. Rejection at the clubs here is the norm, not the exception, mainly due to my not speaking Spanish well enough yet. They seem to want to go out with me, but not dance... and that is what I am there for.) But I have decided to become an excellent Salsero, no matter the cost, thanks to the encouragement I found here with you (and my wonderful, beautiful, Puerto Rican girlfriend--she made me say that--:-). I love the scene that much, and have begun practicing 20 hours a week, plus club time. And as you have indicated, I WILL remember all those who snubbed me early on. I hope to meet you someday and thank you in person... I will watch for a group get together or class on SalsaFreak, and take a trip to NY just for that. (As a pilot I look for any reason I can to fly...:-) I will practice constantly, and hopefully be worthy of dancing just one song with you someday... For now, just know that you are making more of a positive impact on us beginner salseros than you may know...Thanks again for everything.
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