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Some men have a "list" of female dancers they only dream about asking "some day".
Gentlemen, if you want to improve, They won't bite you. To get better, on occasion, you've got to practice with some of the best female dancers to build your confidence. You'll find that these women are easier to lead, and are familiar with the moves that you've been learning from watching, or taking classes, or are ultimately interested in doing. You can even tell her, "You know what, I'm not that great of a dancer, but I really would like to be. May I have this next dance with you for some practice on what it's like to lead someone of your caliber?" If/when she says, "Sure.", take advantage of this time, and don't be afraid to ask her if you're doing a move right or not. If she's a decent human being, she'll be more than happy to help you for this ONE SONG only. There are many times when I've been to a club, and I've seen countless great female dancers just sitting there, not being asked to dance. Many of these women have had to resort to asking men! Why? Guys are intimidated by them. These women came here TO DANCE, and exercise... not to just sit there. Take advantage of this gentlemen. Go up to them, and ask them to dance (w/ the statement above). They won't bite you. They may say "no". BIG DEAL. If you think about it, women say "no" in all types of situations! They say "no" to their dogs, their boyfriends, their bosses, their grocer, their best friends... It's not "you". OK? It's a numbers game. Eventually, SOMEONE of a decent caliber will say "yes"...and aaaaaahhhhh glory to that. Take them to a non-conspicuous part of the dance floor, like in the middle or away from the crowd. You don't want to embarrass yourself or her.
Then, when the song is over, DO NOT ask her to dance again, time, and time again that same evening, or same week. Politely thank her, and that's it. Of course, if you're a beginner/intermediate, she'll consider you a Sacrifice Dance. This is where your "pride" must be thrown out the window. Take advantage of her advice during the dance, and learn how it is supposed to "feel" to lead a good dancer. Learn how to handle her, and just what it takes to get her to move. You'll be quite surprised at how easy it is. Once you're done, go back to your regular partner(s), and help them out with what you learned. Show them out of the way someplace. They may get a little frustrated with you at first, but if you tell them "look, I just danced with so-and-so [great dancer], and she did this..." Your partners will listen, and really try to understand what you have to show them. If you're a beginner, DO NOT go up to a great dancer, and say, "Will you teach me?" They will definitely, very annoyingly, but politely say, "No. Take a class." Just ask them to dance (w/ the statement above). But make sure you've taken a few classes first. There is NOTHING WORSE than being abused and tossed around the dance floor by a guy that doesn't even know the BASIC STEP. Gentlemen, you could actually HURT a woman's arm if you've never partner danced before, and don't know proper techniques. When you get better, ask the same great dancer to dance, in a month or so, then let her TELL YOU how much you've improved. It will happen if she's a decent person. If she doesn't say anything, it does not mean you haven't improved. It just means, she didn't have anything to say to you. TRY SOMEONE ELSE The next month, go back to the same good dancer, then give it another shot. If she's a decent person, she'll smile during the dance, let you know you're "getting better", or "improved" or whatever, and then thank you at the end of the song. If anything, this should boost your ego, and continue your growth. That's one thing I've noticed about the Salsa crowd. There are a lot of really, really, nice people out there, good morals, sincerity, and people who simply want to have some honest fun. |