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It is not unusual to hear ladies say they would like to dance more. This article is an attempt to list five things followers can do to dance more. The pointers below reflect the sentiments of many leaders. However this is not meant as a criticism and is certainly not directed towards anyone in particular. The goal here is to think aloud from a leaders viewpoint and is intended to help.

Say Yes: You are entitled to decline offers to dance as often as you please but once you say no, a leader is unlikely to ask you for a dance again, especially not on the same night. Also if you say no to a guy, he will probably go tell his buddies to save them a rejection. Before you know it another hour goes by with you tapping the floor with your shoe, waiting to be asked to dance.

Ladies, patience with leaders (particularly non-advanced ones) will be rewarding in the longer run. Take note, with time and effort he will progress. Dance with him now and have that sentiment returned in kind later. A leader recalled that ‘This person would dance with me when I was an early beginner and she was more advanced than me. Now I make it a point to seek her out even when I could be dancing with more advanced followers’.  What goes around does come around. Dont forget ladies, when you say yes to a dance you are not exchanging vows or signing a contract, but only agreeing to dance that one song!

Adopt a Positive Approach: Women with negative attitude leave a strong and enduring effect on leaders. It is no exaggeration to say that demonstration of negative attitude (or perception of this by guys) is a near guarantee to place you on a leaders ‘never ask for a dance’ list. Many a guys have been deeply upset because women have left them on the floor mid-song. That is not nice and should not happen to anyone.

Such behaviour includes turning down a dance without good reason, complaining about being off-beat, hijacking dances and looking everywhere else but at the leader when dancing (do not have to love the guy but looking at him cannot hurt your following, right?). Guys want to dance, but if it appears that you are doing us a favour then they will avoid this.

At least one person confessed to an actual list of people he will not ask to dance entirely because of their attitude. Others admit (reluctantly) to having a mental list of followers they would not ask to dance owing essentially to attitude. One person summed up by saying ‘I rather have a beer and enjoy the music than dance with someone with attitude’. This point appeared to have struck a chord with leaders who reviewed this article. This leads to the next topic, being friendly.

Be Friendly: In this area, a useful start is to be friendly with people you dance with week after week. How many leaders do you know by name? How many times have you fled to the other end of the floor after a song without so much a thank you (unless of course, he stepped on you a lot, BO … okay let us not go there :).

The number of people who take lessons and not arrange to meet for social dancing is truly perplexing. Presumably we want to practice what we learn in class. And what better way to do this than with fellow classmates?

Dana is a newbie but is very social and friendly and is always busy dancing. Sue is an intermediate-advanced dancer and is seldom waiting. Sue also has a friendly manner. The names are made up but the people are real and these are not coincidences. The key message is: make more friends and you will be asked to dance more.

Ask a guy for a dance: This is not a revolutionary idea and is standard practice in many places, particularly congresses. Asking a guy for a dance has three key benefits: First, you choose whom you ask, you have control. Second, it takes pressure off the guys, and guys really appreciate this. Third, you are just about guaranteed that if the guy sees you again, he will most likely ask you for a dance.  And guys love it, for it makes them feel good.

Believe it or not ladies, some guys are shy asking girls for a dance due to fear of rejection - yes men have feelings too! To Salseras who are beginning to ask guys for a dance - good on you for making the world a better place. Umm that is a stretch, but good on you and keep at it!

Avoid Groups: Sticking with known and familiar faces within your circle of friends is comforting but signals exclusiveness. If you are seen to be part of a group, it is only natural that other will leave you to your group. If this is the desired objective, may the force be with you. This comment applies equally to a group of girls sitting together.

Ladies, it is difficult enough for a guy to approach you if you are by yourself. And if you are in a group it just makes it that much harder for guys and therefore for you. Moreover, if anyone in the group declines, the group as a whole is labelled (subconsciously or otherwise) ‘unfriendly’ and avoided by guys. So ladies, it will help to steer clear of groups and cliques where possible or at least be inclusive.

Remember, these are thoughts and suggestions - not criticisms and are merely a summary of how many guys feel. If everyone were a bit more conscious and considerate of others, our clubbing experience would be even more pleasant! Remember, everyone was a beginner once and we're all here to enjoy the music and dancing. If you have not dozed off yet, try adopting these pointers to see if this works. In any case, brush those shoes and let the dancing begin.

Shalin

Shalinc.blogspot.com